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Lucky Me, Lucky Mud

by Darn Felski

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1.
Snake Oil! 03:41
I've been home for 26 years barely starting to find my way around don't drink the water don't trust the government all across this country there's Snake Oil! bubbling up from the ground Michael says his name is Spike now and he swears he's not against anymore Natalie is Naty Brandon is Mary Ann and I'm losing letters and convictions everyday So sell me more of the same I swear I'll buy anything, everything if you would just go away I'll buy your cancer and smoke it every day My best friend is at his wits' end She doesn't know what to believe in anymore He thought that love was She thought that God is And we're all looking for a Cure-all! for being born American Common sense went out the window when corporations thought they could fuck and breathe all hail Rockefeller all hail the dollar bill blind eyes to anti-suicide nets in the east So sell me more of the same I swear I'll buy anything, everything if you would just go away I'll buy your cancer and smoke it every day America, land of the legal lie pay no attention to those suits behind the flag they want a quick fix they want it done for cheap and every time they speak there's Snake Oil! pouring out of all their mouths Snake Oil! and we're drowning from the lies we tell ourselves
2.
I'm making up lies in the backseat of my best friend's car I'm picking fights with every pretty thing that looks me in the eye don't look me in the eye i'm afraid of what you might find I'm calling in favors to people I owe money to I'm hitting up family for love that I can't otherwise find and that's no one's fault but mine My oh my what a glorious day why oh why can't I waste it away? I'm fed up with all this guilt and shame why oh why can't I waste it away? Why can't I waste it away? I'm looking in the mirror and seeing every failure watching myself age knowing that I'm running out of time keep falling further behind but is that such a crime? My oh my what a glorious day why oh why can't I waste it away? I'm fed up with all this guilt and shame why oh why can't I waste it away? Why can't I waste it away? Just let me waste it away...
3.
Senseless 04:12
I... killed a kid today held his hand and watched him die and with every passing second I feel less and less alive senseless... will he ever forgive us? senseless... can't stop the worst of what's in us Got... my dollar bill today triple digits and I feel fine in fact, I feel nothing next week I'll be a veteran stateside senseless... will he ever forgive us? senseless... can't stop the worst of what's in us Shot... straight through my brain today a little early but I don't mind they'll call it senseless like the know as if everything else is in control
4.
You're a round sound with a perfect body you're everything wrong with society Load your mouth with semi-automatic semantics you're a deadly weapon of stupidity preaching prejudice and victimization dimes in your eyes you're dead alive Radio earworms keep bringing me down while you're counting cards in the lost and found and those amber waves sure look like dead grass to me I'll keep picking at scabs hoping the truth'll bleed out You're a paper crown with a broken smile you drive me absolutely fucking crazy
5.
I'm not impressed with the way you look through me I'm not a suspect but I always feel guilty Tread lightly on me I'm not as big as I seem tread lightly on me I do more damage all by myself I'm a functional fuck-up with addiction in my family tree don't spill your drink on me I already got more than I'll ever need Tread lightly on me I'm not as big as I seem tread lightly on me I do more damage all by myself Heirloom excuses justify my own disease the worst of them has become manifest in me ...do-do-do-do
6.
Laughing in my face, you oughta spitting on my grave, you're gonna it's ringing in my ears, no wonder picking on my fears and love ones We all need somebody else to hate while they're picking pockets down on main ...street. (that's you and me) Bought and sold this godforsaken nation they even own my education and they don't like all this attention on their boats and jets and houses and what else did you mention? We all need somebody else to hate so they separated us by class gender and race ...(I learned that at university!) We are the enemy bewildered and obscene in this land of lost opportunity we are the enemy We all need somebody else to hate while they're laughing all the way to the bank ...(in ski masks no less) We are the enemy...
7.
Sync Issues 02:53
How could you let us fall so far and why do you hide your face in the dark? Who could've known it would be this hard and what will it take to sync up my head and my heart? Sunday morning it takes a lot to hate everyone who's something I'm not and if love is the answer the preacher don't know he can't catch his breath between all that fire and brimstone I guess I'm bad soil bad soil in this hard world I'm just bad soil On this pale blue dot we can see the stars and know that we're only a part but who could've known it would be this hard what will it take to sync up my head and my heart?
8.
The Cost 03:19
I remember a moonlit bridge and dancing to Sam Cooke under our feet the river flowed and carried away our souls Waking up in the middle of the night to find that you'd gone missing you said that my touch made you sick and you couldn't stand the sound of my breathing But remember all we lost and everything that we gained if living happens at such a cost I guess it's better than things staying the same I remember a song we sung that no one ever heard chorus-less the melody lifted us off the earth Pixelated and silent we sat at our respective screens staring into the eye of Hal unsure of what any of it means Remember all we lost and everything that we gained if living happens at such a cost I guess it's better than things staying the same I remember yesterday when I couldn't think of anyone else But remember all we lost and everything that we gained if living happens at such a cost I guess it's better than things staying the same Who knows?
9.
The pursuit of... has become a rat race of the blind and I'll take more of yours before I bite into mine Pre-packaged and pre-cut no work, no frills, no fuss just tell me where to sign But what if I'm happy? Happy? Who really knows if they're happy? Quarantined relief hopping from high to high viral insanity I'll take mine to-go with fries Nothing can satisfy IRL or online this red, white, blue blood of mine So what if I'm happy? Happy? Who really knows if they're happy? Who gives a fuck if I'm happy? Happy? Who gives a fuck if you're happy?
10.
I think I must smoked 10,000 cigarettes in just 5 months I think I must've drank too much I've opened myself up to one too many loves and my broken heart fits better in my suitcase I'm waking up feeling about as bad as I think I should feel I'm wondering if this is real and from the inside of this bus I think that life just takes too much and from those with so little to begin with If you could burn off your fingertips and cut your hair and change your face would you go 'round another time? knowing that the pain would be the same just a different shade... She grew up in fits and starts from 6 until 13 with her uncle Johnny always at her shoulder when she finally said it her family beat him all to hell and the police decided to ignore it He and she are fading fast and learning not to love the person they both promised to take care of and somebody's someone is becoming someone else's and there's nothing you or I can do If you could burn off your fingertips and cut your hair and change your face would you go 'round another time? knowing that the pain would be the same just a different shade...

about

Recorded in my grandmother's trailer down by the Colorado River during the sweltering summer of 2014. I played everything and recorded it and mixed it so I have no one to blame.

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released October 7, 2014

Written, performed and recorded by Darn Felski.

For AKQ.

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Darn Felski Los Angeles, California

Desert rat.

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